Twilight: New moon review

Twilight twilight twilight. Attracting girls and repelling guys at the drop of the name “Cullen”

The blockbuster series is back with its second installment. The first one was a run-off the mill chick flick with very few twists (see: sparkling vampires), but the second one is not only worse, but unbearably appalling.

The story follows the protagonist Bella (played by Kristen Stewart) looking clueless throughout the entire movie while asking Edward Cullen (played by Robert pattinson) to bite her. Literally.

Oh boy.

It starts off with a hazardous birthday while Bella whines and moans about people giving her attention. When they don’t give her attention, she moans again. All the while, edward looks at her with loving eyes, like she’s a Mother Teresa+ Megan Fox hybrid that is somehow going to bring back the charm in his 300+ year old life.

After the birthday, the Cullen family decides to get the hell out of Forks, presumably to not endanger Bella anymore ( or to just get away from her).

She goes all Emo on herself after they leave, and finds comfort in her ripped-oiled-ready-to-go childhood friend, Jacob Black(played by Taylor Lautner)

I won’t spoil the rest of the story, but there’s nothing there that will save this movie from utter boredom. The story is perfectly marketed for girls, and every girl can easily slip into the shoes of the blank, faceless, Bella who is loved by everyone in Forks(including squirrels) while they admire the impossibly perfect Edward Cullen, who for some mysterious reason wants her.

Pah, the movie has absolutely nothing to redeem it, except for the 1 or 2 action scenes which were specifically put in so that Jacob can remove his shirt off and feel like a teenage Shwarzenegger.

Mundane story, bad acting and boring. No thank you.



7 thoughts on “Twilight: New moon review

  1. Oh cum on!…..evry gal wudnt fall for edward or bella’s face……bt nice review….makes ppl ashamed of demselves for watching d movie….

  2. tell me about it
    twilight is just another excuse for teenage virgins and their mothers to look at a naked guys sparkly chest.

    @Varun: i just discovered you (yeah how late am i) you’re totaly funny dude.

    i’m a british indian so it’s nice to see someone ranting on about something that bothers me all the time xP

    keep it up xxx ^.^

  3. As a girl, I would definitely have to agree with you. Twilight was not only badly directed twice in a row (with 2 seperate directors). They didnt have the deceny to switch actors (because really its the actors that suck at playing their roles.) I agree with your rating 2/5. The books are pretty close to rubbish as well. Oh and nice job on the your first episode: Buffering! Keep going, dont listen to them haters, boy! 😉

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